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When you read things like this:

“If the New York Knicks trade Randolph and either Eddy Curry or Jamal Crawford for short-term deals, they can be under the cap and in the bidding for King James.”

This sort of thing just illustrates the make believe world that the once proud New York Knicks currently reside in.  As if Jimmy Dolan, Zeke Thomas, and Starbury weren’t cartoonish enough, the media and the delusional fans feed even more into the fantasy that success is possible here.

When year after year, you continue making trash acquisitions like Randolph Morris, Malik Rose, Quentin Richardson, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry, Jerome James, Jared Jeffries, Penny Hardaway, Maurice Taylor, and Jerome Williams for absurdly high prices, there is no other way to turn things around but to wait out their crappy contracts and start anew.  However, your refusal to rebuild necessarily requires you to find someone dumber (not ‘more dumb’… but dumber) than you to take those ridiculous contracts off your hands, or you’ll have to continue landing Balkmans, Lees, and Robinsons at the end of the 1st round or in the 2nd round.  (i.e. it is impossible)

It’s not all your fault though.  I know everyone keeps telling you it’s not as bad as it sounds, so of course you’re not going to throw in the towel.  When Carmelo Anthony asks Stephen A. Smith for directions in their NBA tour bus, and Stephen A. responds by tooting that the New York Knickerbocker horn, you NYers believed him.  And that’s honorable of you to trust Stephen A., Isaiah and Dolan, but here’s the thing: Don’t.

Sure, everyone makes a bad sign, a bad trade or a bad draft selection every now and then, but no one (see: absolutely no one) has ever made so many below-mediocre players so rich, and in the process, also made those same players untradeable.

Let me get you moving in the right direction.  Start Marbury, Nate the Great, Crawford.  I know it’s a very small line-up to go with, but let’s be honest: who do you have to play the 3 that doesn’t regularly opt to shit on the court instead of doing something productive?  Your answer is probably David Lee, but you’re going to start him at the 4 now and Balkman at the 5.  I know, now your line-up is even smaller, but let me suggest that sending a line-up out there that actually knows how to play the game of basketball and has some energy is more important than feet and inches, and Fantasy average draft position.

If you actually want to unload your big contracts now and not wait for them to expire in 4 years, you’re going to have to part with Lee, Balkman and Robinson in packaged deals, because everyone except for you knows they are your only good players.  (What do you care anyway, you don’t ever let them play)  And if you do end up trading away one of those three, stop trying to land Lamar Odom and/or Jermaine O’neal…  you know what, don’t even go after Artest.  If you’re going to do a trade, let it at least be one for someone who isn’t coming off turn #4 of his career.  Trading for a Jason Kidd, Shaq, Ben Wallace, is something you do when you’re trying to find the final piece, not when you’re the Knicks looking for the 1st piece.

One Response to “I Heart Delusional Knick Fans”

  1. The Honorable Cock Jowles said

    You look pretty fucking stupid now, don’t you.

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